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Choosing Your Bridal Party
Choosing Your Bridal PartySusan Tuffey
Times have certainly changed when it comes to your bridal party. No longer are you held to having your maid of honor be a female. Gender alone does not dictate whether the attendant is on the bride or groom’s side. You can now have a man of honor if your best friend is male. The person chosen to be the maid, matron or man of honor is entirely up to you without regard to gender. If you have two special friends they can also share the honor on your special day.
Bridesmaids are usually sisters not chosen to be the maid or matron on honor and special friends and relatives. Remember, these days anyone who is special to you, male or female, can be a bridesmaid.
The best man is traditionally the groom’s brother, relative, or best friend. Again, just like the maid or matron on honor, the best man can also be the best woman. If you wish, you can also have two people share this honor.
The ushers are selected from friends and relatives and the number usually, but not always, corresponds with how many bridesmaids there are. If there are six bridesmaids and only four ushers, then two lucky men get to have two lovely bridesmaids on their arm. I would recommend that you have at least one usher per fifty people attending your wedding. If you have less than that one usher for each fifty guests, be cautioned that could delay seating and may cause a delay in the start time of your wedding.
The flower girl is customarily between the ages of three and seven. I have seen two-year olds handle the task, but you risk having them wander off to their parents instead of walking down the aisle tossing flower petals. The flower girl can come from either side of the family, bride or groom, and can even be a child of the bride and or groom or come from a previous relationship, if that is the case.
The ring bearer is again usually between the ages of three and seven, but I again caution you if they are in the two-year old range. A new twist to the ring bearer is the use of a beloved pet. You can do what works for you.
A nice gesture is for the bride to choose the sister or brother of her future groom or even a stepchild. Even though you may not be that close to the person chosen yet, it is a nice way to start out on the right foot in your relationship.
Some brides have up to twelve bridesmaids, which is fine, just be forewarned that a huge part of your wedding budget will include flowers and wedding party gifts, so choose your number of bridesmaids accordingly.
On another note, if some declines your offer to be in your wedding party, don’t take it personal. It is often due to nothing more than simple geography or the financial situation of the person you have selected. They are actually doing you a favor by declining as they are saving you from having someone in the wedding party that is not fully invested in your wedding. Remember that being a bridesmaid or usher is a big commitment of both time and money, so try to be understanding of their situation and don’t get your feathers ruffled over it.
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